Top 10 Answers to Annoying Holiday Questions about College

10. “Thanks Grandma, writing a personal note to the university president would be very helpful.”

9. “After applying to all of the schools on my list, I realize I actually want to go to clown school.”

8. “Oh look, the menorah caught the curtain on fire.”

7. “When you applied to school, men wore pleated pants and wide ties. Times change.”

6. “Yes, Dad, Harvard IS hard to get in to.”

5. “I need more advice on my college essay like I need more coal in my stocking.”

4. “I chose the SAT to squelch my will to live and give a compelling redemption story for my college essays.”

3. “Waiting for college decisions is old hat. My parents have trained me to deal with high anxiety situations and unreal expectations my whole life.”

2. “You hadn’t heard? Online applications are out and slow-tech is in. We file by carrier pigeon now.”

1. “Well, everyone needs to know where their breaking point is. Life skills”