Signs My Child Needs a Tutor and How to Take the Next Steps

Another Autumn has come and gone and another first marking period is in the grade books. The leaves are falling from the trees and, for some students, the wheels are falling off the bus academically. If that’s the case, not to worry, the school year is still young with plenty of time for improvement. Realizing that improvement, however, takes an understanding of what’s gone wrong. Here are some questions you should consider as you think about how best to help your child.

Is there a learning gap or a testing gap?

If we’re getting a call for academic tutoring help, that often means that grades have already been impacted in some way – ranging from a hiccup of a below-average quiz or test to the more serious problem of a failing report card grade. The disconnect that caused that result, however, can take many forms, so start with the basics: Was the student unable to learn the material or were they unable to display what they’ve learned?

There are many reasons a hard-working and engaged student might feel comfortable with the material in class but have a difficult time with an assessment: Perhaps their teacher writes tricky multiple choice questions they have a hard time disentangling? Maybe they’ve been a little sleep deprived? Or maybe it’s simply the ever-increasing test anxiety and the pressure to get As. Those are all fixable problems, but finding the solution requires first finding the problem.

Perhaps the most serious problem is if the student really is lost and struggling to learn in class. That needs to be addressed immediately, since every minute the student spends in class not learning widens the gap between expectations and understanding, not to mention making them feel their situation more hopeless.

Such disconnects can be the result of a mismatch between the personalities of the teacher and student or between their teaching and learning styles. We help our students begin to take responsibility for their own learning and be able to adapt to those different teaching styles and personalities that they’ll continue to encounter in college and beyond. Perhaps they need to alter the way they take notes or do homework or use the book, but students don’t always know exactly how to make the tweaks that’ll help the most – which brings us to our next question.

Do they have the study skills they need to be successful?

While it’s easy for parents to blame a student’s work ethic and say they’re “not really trying” or “not working very hard”, it might be the case that the student doesn’t know HOW to try harder or work more efficiently. In fact, if you’ve got a freshman or sophomore who’s struggling, it may have more to do with the transition to upper school than the particular class itself.

Many smart students don’t really need to study in middle school: they pay attention, they do their homework, and they do well on the tests, which look very much like the homework. But that natural talent can only carry students so far – at some point they need to learn how to actually study and learn on their own. In high school, the tests won’t always look just like the homework and they’ll need to – gasp! – do some actual thinking on the test. That requires more thorough preparation, since it’s not enough to be able to recall facts; students need to understand relationships well enough to integrate and synthesize on test day. We routinely help guide students through the process of learning how to study: How do they create a study guide? Should they use their textbook? How? And how do they integrate that information with what their teacher is emphasizing in class? How do you outline a paper? Or go from a rough draft to a final edit?

Our default assumption when working with any new student is that they really do actually *want* to do better in school – they just don’t quite know how. And that’s usually the case. In some cases, though, students may be struggling with the motivation to do the amount of work necessary to be successful.

Is the motivation there?

In our experience, student motivation is the absolute bedrock from which any progress must be built. Without motivation, all the study skills and natural talent in the world won’t help. That’s why one of our first questions to parents concerned about grades is, “Is your student happy with their current grade?” In many cases, parents have no idea how to answer because they’ve simply never asked. If a student is satisfied with their B, it’s going to be very difficult to change it to an A. But why wouldn’t all students want As?

Students can be demotivated by any number of factors: they may believe their situation is hopeless, they may be chafing under an adult they feel is controlling, have a physical or mental health condition that makes high school more challenging, or they simply may not be very interested in academic pursuits. Any of these obstacles can prevent kids from developing the intrinsic motivation that’s the holy grail: we want them to not just learn but to want to learn. Good tutors try hard to meet students where they are. In some cases, students just need another encouraging and patient adult to help them reframe the work they need to do. Other students may never grow to love the classwork they are doing, but a good tutor can help ensure they continue to develop the skills they’ll need to be successful when they do reengage with academics more fully.

Do you need outside help?

We’re the experts on math and writing and history and science. You’re the expert on your family. But you’re also the expert IN your family. No matter how well-informed or well-intentioned your advice may be, it’s still coming from a parent to their teen. Some kids are better at hearing a parent’s suggestions in a productive way and some worse, but most are doing their best to balance their desire to improve with their very developmentally appropriate urge for parental independence.

In many cases, tutors are able to deliver those same messages far more effectively than any parent ever could. What’s “nagging” when done by a parent is simply a tutor “checking in”. A simple observation like “it seems like these are execution errors“ is more likely to be taken at face-value and a simple question like “Have you been doing your homework?” is much more likely to get an honest answer!

We wish your student only the best for their academic year but remain happy to help whether they need a nudge back on the right path or some more significant help. Either way, it all starts with a conversation so you can get the level of help that’s right for you.